Thoughts on 5.16

[borgmama1of5]

I don't normally post episode ruminations but

 

One week later, two viewings

 

1.     The look on Dean’s face after Sam is shot. The absolute coldness. When Sam died at Cold Oak Dean was devastated, broken. Now? Those bastards shouldn’t have touched his brother. Not grief or pain for Sam, his look said more of cold revenge for the affront to Dean’s concept of brotherhood. No one else is allowed to touch Sam, even if there is a chasm between them.

 

2.     The fireworks scene. The brother love there—just oh!

 

3.     Dean realizes he’s in heaven—and his first words are “Where’s Sam?” Again, no matter how torn apart they are, Dean cannot NOT be concerned for his brother. And the underlying fear—is Sam in hell if he’s not here? is clear in Dean’s voice.

 

4.     The flip side to this is when Dean tells Sam they are in heaven, Sam’s reaction is, of course Dean is there—but how could he be there? He has done unforgiveable things.

 

The two reactions, side-by-side, say more about the boys than anything else in the episode to me.

 

5.     Dean and Mary. First, the look on Sam’s face when Mary doesn’t acknowledge him. One of those fleeting moments that show just how different the world is for the two boys. Then, there is the question of why a four-year-old would remember parental conflict as a happy memory. I think the answer is the way his mother responds to Dean’s attempt to comfort her—she calls him her angel, gives him a positive response. And that right there is likely the crux of Dean’s seizing the mantle of family caregiver.

 

Secondary thought—given the mixed nature of the happiness of this memory for Dean, if he thought about it he might consider that Sam’s memories that hurt Dean so badly were also not purely happy for Sam…

 

6.     Flagstaff memory—Oh show, we need to know so much more about this. Never mind, I’m sure fanfic will provide a range of contexts…And what happened to the dog?

 

7.     From Flagstaff to the night Sam leaves for Stanford. Sam’s genuine surprise at how Dean looked at the Flagstaff memory makes Sam realize right away that this memory is going to hurt his brother and he tries to shield Dean. It doesn’t work, but the fact that Sam made the attempt shows that he’s beginning to understand how rejected Dean is feeling. And Sam wants to show Dean that he is there for his big brother now, just like Dean has always been there for Sam. Sam is taking a big step towards being Dean’s equal in the emotional balance of the relationship.

 

8.     Soulmates. Really, show? You put that in just to twit all of us fangirls, didn’t you. BUT I will take the significance of the two of them sharing memories as proof of their special connection, even if it seems to have slid right past them.

 

9.     Ellen and Jo and John and Mary aren’t in heaven? That is a deliberate (and cruel) tease. I have to believe that wouldn’t have been mentioned if the payoff hadn’t already been planned!

 

10.  Not-Mary cutting out Dean’s heart. With Zachariah helping. And I was riveted by Sam’s reaction. He wanted to take that hit for Dean so badly! It is impossible not to ache with Dean’s pain, but if he only could have seen that Sam was feeling it right along with him…Kudos to both actors for the depth communicated by their faces in this scene!

 

11.  Joshua. Finally another decent angel. Love how he can beat down Zachariah with purity of purpose, no bluster needed.

 

12.  Ah-ha! God DID pull them out of the convent AND put Cas back together! Thank you for finally clarifying. (Now would you address the matter of the changed phone message, please?!)

 

Oh Joshua, did you have to tell Dean he has lost his faith? He knows, but to have you say it out loud…

 

Okay, God, what’s the plan here? Ultimate test of free will? Humans to teach a lesson to the angels? ‘Cause just walking away is not acceptable.

 

13.  Cas. So he has lost his faith too. Oh…

 

14.  So it comes down to Sam, now. He’s the only one who comes out of this episode not broken. He has a purpose now. Sam, who in “Houses of the Holy” believed in God and angels and a reason for things, and who lost sight of that in his single-minded quest for revenge against Lilith, has become the standard-bearer for Team Free Will, the only one with any hope left.

 

15.  The amulet. The first viewing of Dean dropping it in the trash left me desolate, feeling like he was throwing out Sam along with it. But I’ve altered that interpretation as I’ve thought about the episode more. It was more Dean discarding the last of his hope. And yes, his faith in Sam is part of that hope, but only part of it. It is also the symbol of Cas giving up, and Cas’ faith was sustaining Dean until he gave Dean the amulet back.

 

The burning question is, can Sam see the discarding of the amulet is about Dean’s cumulative despair or will Sam take it as Dean rejecting him personally? I am desperately hoping from the final look on Sam’s face that he understands…but given Kripke’s delight in ripping our hearts out I’m not expecting the better interpretation.

 

But damn, Sam had better have fished it out of the garbage!

Comments

[sandymg.livejournal.com]

It was more Dean discarding the last of his hope. And yes, his faith in Sam is part of that hope, but only part of it. It is also the symbol of Cas giving up, and Cas’ faith was sustaining Dean until he gave Dean the amulet back.


--- Yes. This. I hadn't thought this before but it's a brilliant observation. Ultimately I think the show might come back to the sybolism of the amulet and have it restored to Dean. But it's not necessary for a reconsiliation. That can be done with empathy and understanding and *something* that gives them both (but especially Dean) renewed hope.

[agent-jl36.livejournal.com]

There's sooo much to this episode that we could be writing about it for weeks. I wonder what we'll say about it after the next pivital episode?

[captainlon.livejournal.com]

They sure do know how to break our hearts huh? -_-

I didn't like how Dean was acting in the episode (although I am fully aware of the reasons), but as a whole I think the episode was beautifully done. Beautiful settings, acting, music...
The end was cruel though. Dean knew fully well Sam was watching and he was stretching it by even dangling it from his hands.

[lovetheguys.livejournal.com]

I am sure Sam took the amulet out of the garbage, and we will see it return in a very dramatic manner later on.

Sam was so thrilled that he went to heaven, he IS the only remaining cheerleader now for Team Free Will! However, did you notice that when Cas was speaking to whoever upstairs, he was interrupted, and listened? What was going on there? Was he given some hope, but told not to let on to Sam and Dean? Was he told to act like he was done, fed up, and return the amulet to Dean? I don't know. . .

As for Dean, he's down, but will he be out? He's a Winchester, and Sam won't let him drop the ball, even if he did drop the amulet.

Love, Robin

[alleysweeper.livejournal.com]

did you notice that when Cas was speaking to whoever upstairs, he was interrupted, and listened?

I don't think Castiel was listening to anything. I believe he just stopped, thinking...'What the fuck am I doing? It's not like God gives a shit!"...and turned away.

[ancastar.livejournal.com]

Some great stuff here. I don't know if I fall in line with #15 though.

I believe it symbolizes the loss of hope, absolutely. But given that Dean not only throws it away in Sam presence, but in fact made a point of throwing it away so Sam would see him doing so (he holds it over that trash bin for a beat or two before finally letting go), says to me it's about Sam as well. I'm not saying these guys can't fix themselves. I believe they can, for sure. But I do think Dean is upset with Sam and what he feels is Sam's utter disregard, and he means for Sam to know this.

[alleysweeper.livejournal.com]

I have so much love for this episode!!

It was more Dean discarding the last of his hope.

I think when Castiel gave the amulet back to him, Dean realized he had been giving it a value Sam never meant it to have. To Dean, it represented a tie to Sam, his family...his HOME. To learn of Sam's disdain of these things negated the purpose of wearing it and to keep it would only remind him of that which he did not have.

I think the answer is the way his mother responds to Dean’s attempt to comfort her...

Right!? The same with the Sam memory. I think it's not so much making Sam happy as the affectionate response from Sam that makes this memory so special.

God! There's so much to take from this epi!

[scwlc-fic.livejournal.com]

A few things here. First, since I'm now tracking the show primarily through episode summaries (I watch when I feel emotionally ready for the angst, which isn't yet) some of my interpretations might be a little off at this point.

But here's one question. How do we know that the memories there are truly the happy heaven memories? I mean, Zachariah's clearly screwed around with Dean and Sam before in a lot of ways, could he have maybe screwed with them by picking the memories for heaven he thought would best suit whatever he's up to?

Also, as for soulmates, I would argue a slightly different spin on the definition of soulmates than is necessarily normal. The idea of a soulmate is the one person who is your other half and without whom you feel incomplete (once you've met them). Well, that doesn't necessarily have to mean romantic love. It would normally lead to romantic love, simply because that depth and kind of equal sharing of selves is considered to be a romantic thing.

In Sam and Dean's case, it's simply that the brothers are the most important people in each other's lives. If ever either of them tried to have a long-term relationship, that woman would have to accept that by being involved with Sam (or Dean) she is inevitably involved with Dean (or Sam). And that Sam (or Dean) will *always* come first for Dean (or Sam).

As for the amulet, you want Sam to fish it out, but I'm kinda expecting someone else will fish it out and Sam'n'Dean will get it back in some way that makes it all the more gutwrenchingly horrible how broken apart they've become. Like Cas handing it to Dean and giving him a touching speech about how he shouldn't throw away his brother's love, and it sparking an argument between the boys about who threw who away first. That's what I'm *expecting*.

[borgmama1of5.livejournal.com]

Hee! I see that you have been poking through my journal--which is exactly what I do when I find a new writer that I enjoy. (BTW I got a real kick out of your Sam/Jared both real people stories! Skimmed 'em last night, going to reread and comment later.)

Re: the memories being accurately the boys' happy ones or a trick of Zach's--jury is out on that one. Show didn't give a hint which way to take it and either side can be argued. Only Dean's first one seemed completely genuine.

Re: Soulmates--I'm not a 'wincester' and actually my interpretation of that word is exactly the same as yours. But I also know that a lot of fans are going to take that reference further. Which I think is the whole reason Kripke put it in--just an affectionate tweak to the crazy fangirls. Esp. since he's poked gentle fun at that segment of the fans before.

And the amulet: I'm hanging with Sam fishing it out. Although I did read a fic yesterday where the maid brought it to them and Dean tried to get rid of it some other ways and it kept coming back...

Love the chance to have a dialog with a new friend! I only discovered SPN this past August, so I still consider myself a newbie!

[scwlc-fic.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know all about discovering SPN seasons in. I'd sworn off shows that I knew were heading for angst, like SPN, after having my heart repeatedly broked by Buffy. And then I started reading crossovers between Buffy and SPN. Then I wrote two crossovers between them, having never seen a single episode of SPN.

That was when I realised I was going to have to watch it, so I rented Season One from an awesome little rental place where I can get the whole season for five bucks. And that was the end of my avoiding that.

Fanfic, it sends you spiralling into fandoms you never expected.