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borgmama1of5Fanfic: Jared, Interrupted
Author: borgmama1of5
Summary: Jared and Jensen, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g (but it’s not what you think…)
Spoilers: Takes place during filming of 5.11
Wordcount: 2670 – One shot
Genre: RP
Characters: Jared, Jensen
Rating: PG
Beta: The inspirational sandymg
Jared, Interrupted
Jared knew better. He completely knew that he shouldn’t open links in anonymous emails. But he’d thought this account was pretty safe, hadn’t been hacked yet, only friends and family would contact him here. And, okay, he was pretty tired, sitting in front of his laptop in that ‘I-really-need-to-get-up-and-go-to-bed-but-I’m-too-tired-to-move-so-I’ll-keep-clicking’ state. All of which were perfectly reasonable excuses, but it was definitely the last one that kept him reading once he realized, from the website he ended up on, that the email couldn’t have been from someone he knew.
“Dude, why the heck are you still up?” Jensen yawned as he stuck his head in Jared’s room, just out of the shower, in tee and sweats with one of his navy blue towels draped around his still-damp neck.
Jared would have jumped but he was too exhausted so he just twitched. As Jensen walked over, he shut his laptop – not guiltily – and leaned back in the swivel chair.
“Don’t you have a fight scene to shoot tomorrow?”
“Yeah, the group fight in the rec room. Lou was kicking butt putting that together with a whole crowd. It’s gonna be a bitch to shoot, though.” Jared’s turn to yawn. “How’d it go with Michelle today?”
“She nailed it. Jim was pretty happy with today’s shoot. You better get your beauty sleep or you’re gonna need extra makeup to cover those under-eye bags.” Jensen aimed an ineffective swat of his towel at Jared’s shoulder, followed by a light thump of his fist.
“Come on. Up. Bed. Do I have to tuck you in?”
Jared disentangled his feet and lurched upright. Summoning just enough energy for a glare he borrowed an appropriate line from his alter ego. “You’re short. And you’re bossy.”
Jensen’s tired grin crinkled the skin around his eyes. “And that’s why you love me.”
***
He frickin’ hated the strapped-to-the-bed scene. When Lara showed up, she got into her ‘monster-of-the-week’ part with enthusiasm, and Jensen, damn him, had clued her in that Jared was ticklish. So every time the cameras stopped she took her pointy little pig-sticker and dragged it lightly down his side.
“Stop it! Stop!” He twisted sideways trying to escape but of course the restraints prevented him from moving out of her reach. When filming resumed Jared was on edge in anticipation of being tormented as soon as the scene stopped. Which, he grudgingly admitted, probably made it look better, but that didn’t mean he had to enjoy it.
And then there was the whole lick-on-the-forehead part. Jim stood over him discussing tongue technique with Lara, for chrissake, and Jensen just had to be part of it.
“So do you want me to lick vertically or horizontally?” Lara asked the director.
“Mmm, I think the side-to-side motion will play better.”
“You could do lots of little licks,” Jensen offered helpfully. “You know, like this.” He crouched down and flicked his tongue in the air not quite touching Jared’s skin.
“Knock it off, Jensen!”
Jensen leaned over so Jared was the recipient of a full-on, albeit upside-down, evil Jensen smirk, and then Jensen began tickling Jared’s armpits.
“Ah! No! Stop! Stop!” No matter how he contorted, Jared couldn’t escape those malevolent fingers. In between his near hysterical shrieks Jared threatened. “Jensen! You are so dead!”
“I am so going to have to thank Andy and Danny for writing this scene,” Jensen continued relentlessly.
“I’m gonna pee if you don’t stop!”
“Not my problem.” But Jensen eased off as Jim finished telling Lara how he wanted the next shot.
***
Looking through the next day’s shooting schedule Jared plotted payback. They were going to shoot the body in the morgue – so Sam gets to saw a guys’ head open? Jeesh, what did those writers smoke? – and the nurse – Lara – was gonna walk in on them. He read the directions for Dean’s pudding distraction bit and started to figure what he was going to need to help pull his revenge off. One phone call was all it took to get everything in motion.
Mindlessly clicking through his emails, Jared stopped at the disturbing one from the other night. He hadn’t deleted it? He should trash it – but he opened it instead, frowning as he was sucked in despite knowing how ridiculous it was.
Thirty minutes later he forced himself to stop. This all had to be someone’s overactive imagination, didn’t it? Jensen wasn’t – he didn’t – this is absurd. For a moment he wondered if he should cop out on his revenge for the tickle attack, but no, it was too perfect. Even if there was some truth in this email – no, there wasn’t. It was just a load of crap. Okay, so some of that shit actually happened, but it wasn’t meant like this writer was making it sound.
Jared could hear the water in Jensen’s bathroom as he went down the hall. Sharing the house just made sense from a practical standpoint. And it was relaxing to hang out with Jensen after shooting because they knew where each other’s head was at, Jared didn’t have to explain why he needed to chill or why he had to burn off energy. Jensen was usually on the same page, and when he wasn’t, well, he understood where Jared was coming from. Gen got it too, after working with them for so many episodes last year, how sometimes he needed to crash and other times he was too wound up to sit still. It wasn’t anything more than that.
Next morning Jared got to play coroner. As always, the props department had gone crazy making the body realistically creepy. Jim filmed Sam probing the Q-tip into the corpse’s neck from a variety of close-up angles. Jared knew it would look nicely over-the-top gross. Eric would be very happy. Then Jensen was called in and they did the back-and-forth scenes around the corpse. Finally, it was time to film the boys getting caught by the nurse. Jared caught the eye of Kelly, the PA, and she nodded slightly. Jared waited patiently. Third take, he’d figured. Jensen would never see it coming. Jim called, “Action.”
Dean and Sam looked at each other helplessly, then Jensen put that crazy look on Dean’s face, dropped his pants, thrust his hands in the air and yelled “Pudding!”
Jensen was wearing SpongeBob SquarePants boxers.
Everybody on set, including Jared and Jim, lost it.
Yeah, Jensen loved those moments.
“Okay, again!” Jim called. Jensen’s shoulders were shaking with laughter.
“Oh my god, I am gonna be scarred for life!” Lara was giggling.
“C’mon, peoples!”
Jared took a deep breath, reset his face to mildly panicked Sam, and waited for the call that cameras were rolling.
Nobody lost it until after “Cut!” this time, though it had looked like a near thing for a couple of the camera guys. Okay, Kelly strolled through the set, and once she passed Jared checked the table behind him. Good girl. Jensen was looking the other way. Jared grabbed the cucumber – damn, it was cold after being in a freezer all night – and angled himself so the arm behind his back wouldn’t be obvious to the crew.
“Action!” Exchange of “what-the-fuck-do-we-do-now” looks, look of inspiration on Dean’s face, Jensen pushing down his scrubs …
And one frozen cucumber shoved sideways in his butt crack.
Jared wished he’d had a camera. And he’d put money on Jensen’s expression making the gag reel, though they’d have to bleep the expletive. Jensen must have shot three feet straight up.
“Payback’s a bitch,” Jared gave him his full-on innocent-complete-with-both-dimples face.
Jensen was refastening the waist of his pants. “You son of a bitch,” he said in his toughest Dean Winchester growl.
“Hey, I didn’t start it!” Jared protested.
Jim knew that it was hopeless to try another take immediately. “Take ten, everybody. Kelly, why don’t you make some cucumber sandwiches?”
“Not with that cucumber!” someone yelled, and more hoots broke out.
Jared figured he’d have to watch his own back for the rest of the shoot – heck, for the rest of the season – but it had been worth it.
***
He was a little twitchy for the rest of the day, wondering what Jensen was going to spring on him, but Jared figured he’d probably be safe until tomorrow. He was more wired than tired as a result, however, and realized he wasn’t going to sleep until he’d burned some energy. Which was why, at nine-thirty at night, with a five a.m. call, he was taking Sadie and Harley for a run.
The Canadian chill was always a bitch until he got going, but by the time he was back at the house he felt like he could probably sleep after a fast shower and a quick look at his inbox.
There was a new email from the crazy – yes, that was the word for … her, undoubtedly – poster. Jared hesitated, finger suspended over the mouse. Open or delete? He’s a masochist, Jared decided as the cursor clicked the link open.
Okay, this was just wrong. His and Jensen’s horseplay over the last couple days interpreted as the teaser to … He stopped reading and closed the link. Somebody was seriously messed up. He didn’t think it was him … He allowed time for a brief freak-out. Someone, had to be someone on the set, was taking actual events and rewriting them in bad romance novel fashion. Bad gay romance novel fashion. With Jensen suffering from unrequited love and him being totally oblivious.
How many levels of wrong was this? For one, Jensen wasn’t gay. Jared was pretty sure of that. After all, there was Daneel, for chrissake. Admittedly, he and Jensen hadn’t ever had any heart-to-heart chick flick moments over their sex lives. They had sex, yeah, but with their girlfriends and it wasn’t something that needed to be discussed. His siblings Meg and Jeff had sex lives too, and Jared did not need any details, thank you.
For that matter, it was really creepy to think about total strangers making up stories about what he did in bed. Yeah.
So why was this damn email bothering him so much?
Because it contained some truth. He wouldn’t even need a gun to his head to make him say, yeah, he loved Jensen. But it wasn’t like that, it was like a brother. Um, yeah, given that whole Dean-slash-Sam thing in the fandom, like a brother wasn’t necessarily the best word choice. Jared grimaced involuntarily. He was waaay too tired for this train of thought.
And it hit him how much more time he spent as Sam Winchester than as Jared Padalecki. Because damn if he didn’t just repeat Dean Winchester’s advice to Sam: just bury it. This will be funny in the morning, he told himself.
With the delayed reaction of the overly-tired, Jared just stopped himself from dropping down on the paper bag that had been hidden beneath the plaid comforter. What the … A cellophane bag of gummi worms was inside with a note in Jensen’s barely legible writing.
“You win. Peace offering.” And there was a fucking smiley-face.
Can’t handle this, was Jared’s last conscious thought.
***
The last scene shot for “Sam, Interrupted was back on the padded room set, except the padding had been removed and the room had been turned into Sam’s private cubicle. ‘High Sam’ was going to have a brief conversation with his brother that would end with the ‘boop’ moment. Jim had them rehearse it twice to check how he wanted the cameras, and then they were recording.
“…because you’re my brother and I love you.” Pause. “Boop!”
After the tenth repetition Jared was very grateful Sam was supposed to be loopy, because he didn’t know what the hell to make of how he was feeling. Jim wanted a reaction shot of Dean’s face to the “I love you” and Jensen was doing his best deep-feelings-under-stoicism green eyes. Jensen was acting, right? Jared could not have been so totally fucking clueless about Jensen having feelings for him, could he?
“That’s a wrap. Good work, guys. Enjoy your thirty-six hours off!”
***
Jensen was lounging back on the couch with his beer, watching Jared with exasperation.
“What is wrong with you? I haven’t seen you this antsy since your last love scene. Come to think of it, you haven’t had any yet this season. Maybe they’re turning Sam into a monk.” Jensen gave the quintessential Dean smirk. “Yeah, between the game show, and the herpes, and the witch giving him the clap, Sam’s living a very chaste life now.”
If he went upstairs he’d start reading that shit on the computer again. If he stayed down here he’d make himself crazy trying to figure out whether there was something Jensen was hiding or whether he was losing it.
“I need to get drunk.”
“Okaaay, knock your socks off, Jared.” Jensen saluted him with his bottle.
Jared rummaged around the cabinets till he found the half-bottle of tequila left from their last party.
“You want any?”
“I’m fine with beer.”
“ ‘K, then.” Jared took a swallow without bothering to find a glass.
“I predict you are going to regret that in the morning,” Jensen cautioned mildly.
Jared didn’t respond, focused on emptying the bottle. When the half was down to about an inch, he realized the room was slowly rotating. The couch was a very long ways away.
“Um, Jensen?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ma gonna fall over … could you like, help me to the couch?”
“You gonna be sick?”
“Uh, don’ think so, just can’t walk …”
With a sigh, Jensen walked over. He walks like a cat, some part of Jared’s brain murmured. A bow-legged one, another thought responded.
“C’mon, I got ya.” Hand on Jared’s back, Jensen steered him to the seat. Jared draped an arm over Jensen’s shoulders to keep his balance, and looked at Jensen’s perfect profile close enough to … kiss.
“Jens’n ...”
“Yeah?” Those amazing lips and brilliant eyes turned to Jared.
He didn’t know he was going to do it until he had his mouth mashed to Jensen’s and when they both parted their lips in mutual surprise Jared thrust his tongue out and felt …
… Absolutely nothing.
And Jensen was absolutely the best friggin’ friend in the whole world because he snorted and said, “Dude, you are so drunk,” and laid Jared down on the leather cushions.
“I’m sorry, I din’t, I mean I jus’, I jus’ want’ta be sure we’re all right, ya know? Are you laughin’ at me?”
Jensen was shaking silently, but there were tears in his eyes.
“Oh, dude, I think you’ve been had.”
“Whaddya mean?”
“You been getting some messed-up emails this week? About you ‘n’ me discovering we’re the loves of each other’s lives?”
“You too?” A little awareness seeped into his hazy mind.
“Yeah, well the sender tried to hide his trail but I tracked him down.”
“Who? I’m gonna kill him …”
“Yeah, I’m thinking you might. Which probably would piss Eric off because then he’d need to write a new character to find God.”
Wheels turned slowly but eventually Jared got through his tequila fog. “That fucker!”
Jensen didn’t say anything, but the wicked look in his eyes would have scared Dean Winchester. Jared figured Jensen was deciding which one of his co-stars was going to suffer the most – the perpetrator or the sucker.
He didn’t want it to be him. So he did what Harley did when confronted by an alpha dog. Surrendered.
“I deserve whatever you want to do to me. And if you never, ever mention this again, I’ll owe you forever.”
Jensen’s lips twisted into a fiendish revenge-is-sweet grin.
“Shall we enlist the help of the devil to pay back our special angel?”
Fin
A/N: I am really not into RP fanfic. However, my beta just discovered them and has become hopelessly addicted. So I wrote her an antidote. Hope you enjoyed it.
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 07:06 pm (UTC)Can tell you had a lot of fun with this!
no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 07:22 pm (UTC)It wrote itself in one sitting. I seriously needed to address all the Jared/Jensen pairings out there. 'Cause really, it's pretty strange how fans obsess about actors' private lives. And I include myself in there. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-01-28 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 04:50 am (UTC)I am so glad there is someone else in fandom who appreciated this!
Are you going to the Winchestcon in Chicago in March? I thought I saw your name on the list, and I have my ticket. Do you live in the Chicago area?
no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 12:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 04:52 am (UTC)As my note said, I had to write an antidote for my dear beta :)
But this was so much fun to write--it literally wrote itself and I just typed it.
I am very happy you liked it too!
no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 03:02 am (UTC)this: “You win. Peace offering.” And there was a fucking smiley-face.
Can’t handle this, was Jared’s last conscious thought.
-- Is pure gold.
Matched only by this:
“C’mon, I got ya.” Hand on Jared’s back, Jensen steered him to the seat. Jared draped an arm over Jensen’s shoulders to keep his balance, and looked at Jensen’s perfect profile close enough to … kiss.
“Jens’n ...”
“Yeah?” Those amazing lips and brilliant eyes turned to Jared.
Be still my heart.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 03:23 am (UTC)And I have a mate to my 5.12 coda--I'd say we both rock!
no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 06:17 pm (UTC)---
Jensen didn’t say anything, but the wicked look in his eyes would have scared Dean Winchester. Jared figured Jensen was deciding which one of his co-stars was going to suffer the most – the perpetrator or the sucker.
He didn’t want it to be him. So he did what Harley did when confronted by an alpha dog. Surrendered.
*huge grin*
Awesome! Love Jensen plotting revenge & Jared acknowledging he got well & truly suckered.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-31 10:06 am (UTC)Thanks for reading!
no subject
Date: 2010-01-31 12:07 am (UTC)this is cute! :D
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Date: 2010-01-31 10:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-18 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-13 01:04 am (UTC)-Airyn
no subject
Date: 2010-03-13 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-05-16 06:46 pm (UTC)Yeah *cough* I've kinda become addicted too. I prefer Sam and Dean, hunting and being bad-ass (and brothers), but there is fun to be had in reading RP-fanfic. I only ever read complete AUs, since I feel not-so-vaguely dirty to even IMAGINE them as themselves. That feels like being a paparazzi. One of those that killed Lady Diana. You know. Dirty and cheap. (note: I feel that way. Please nobody feel offence!)
With AU, I just pretend it's a new movie.
This was really fun to read, because there is so few good platonic rpf out there, it's rather embarrassing. Good of you to drop some fic to balance the scales ;)
no subject
Date: 2010-05-16 09:24 pm (UTC)I feel the same way you do, it's too squwicky reading about J2 set in real life--like I'm invading their privacy.
I fell in love with the Winchester brothers being brothers, so that's what I write.
PS My beta, sandymg has a wonderful AU J2 "Strikes" on her journal as well as the most incredible Sam and Dean stories!
no subject
Date: 2011-09-17 06:33 pm (UTC)It's still exactly as good as I wrote in May last year (holy hell...time flies really like a banana....) and I still stand by the "not enough platonic RPF out there".
In the other comment, I sent you the link to the request for more non-slash stories, so there ARE a few. Most, though, are a bit too dramatic for my taste. I much prefer this understated friend-being. And I'm actually pretty sure Misha Collins WOULD do something like that. *chuckles*
no subject
Date: 2012-03-17 01:48 pm (UTC)and the boys were idk, kinda adorable in this story.... :))))
great job!!!! :))))))
S.
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Date: 2012-03-17 08:57 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2014-12-20 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2016-02-16 02:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-01-07 02:43 pm (UTC)Love the situation! Reminds me of when I was in love with my bff 😆
no subject
Date: 2017-01-07 10:55 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading!